


one can make the difference

by angstics



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Adam Parrish, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-The Raven King, Pre-CDTH, Scars, technically, your honor I love him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:26:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23766103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angstics/pseuds/angstics
Summary: The trauma from Adam Parrish’s 18 years at home was almost all mental. Except for his broken ear and a dark, dark scar on his shoulder.
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Comments: 8
Kudos: 162





	one can make the difference

**Author's Note:**

> cw: referenced child abuse (no graphic violence), swearing
> 
> please stay safe!!

“Alright, what about this one?”

Ronan laughed and laughed, his hands failing to muffle the sound. It was such a rare and lovely sound, a cruel cry a lone animal would wail to its dead mate. But when it came out of Ronan, it almost sounded sweet. Adam didn’t want him to stop.

What he did instead was wrap his hand around his boyfriend’s arm and further examine the bite-mark-like valley on his shoulder. It was barely there, both from time and the mildness of it, but here, topless in the night, with Adam’s hands almost blindly roaming Ronan’s body, it was almost obvious. Like Adam should’ve not only expected it to be there, but also should’ve already known it was there.

Tonight was a fun night.

Now that school was over and Adam was able to ease up on work with a generous financial plan to go to University, life was finally _fun_. Not as exhausting, as exciting, as unbearable, as unstoppable as usual.

Now, he got to do things like this, things where his fingers could roam the boy who kissed him seven months ago.

Small steps. One touch at a time. Adam Parrish was patient and Ronan Lynch was surprisingly even moreso.

“Come on, Lynch,” Adam chatsited. It hurt, it still did, but he smiled as wide as he could. “What in God’s hell could’ve made this?”

Ronan bent over himself in a final show of eccentric humour then placed his hand next to the mark, right next to Adam’s. Adam’s pinkie warmed against Ronan’s thumb.

“A fucking cow. Dad must’ve dreamt it wrong. He said it was carnivorous.” He laughed again like that wasn’t a scary thing to have in one’s home.

Adam huffed a breath of air, humoring Ronan’s giddiness. He lay his head on top of their hands. “That’s like something from a crazy kid’s book.”

There was an easy pause. “Yeah.”

On Ronan’s bed, the air was quiet most of the time. Never in a bad way. Only anticipatory, thoughtful, tired silence. Tonight, however, it was filled with their hushed tones, and sly laughs, and small discoveries disguised as jokes. With Ronan’s back to the headboard and Adam on the edge of the bed, it was almost like those nights Ronan spent at St. Agnes long ago. There was more touching this time around.

Adam exhaled slowly and evenly. An electricity was in him. He never wanted it to die; he never wanted to stop talking to Ronan Lynch. No, they didn’t even need to talk. They were both good at that. Just the sight of him, the feel of him, the presence of him, the quiet magic in him, the rev of his engine was enough.

What was that?

His eyes were closed now. “Don’t dream up any human-eating cows while I sleep.” He pushed the empty part of the bed open and lay next to Ronan. “I need to go to Boyd’s tomorrow.”

He felt Ronan’s skeleton fingers on his forehead. “Of course not.” The tone of Ronan’s voice was a bit too serious. “Parrish.” He nudged him and eased back down.

Adam smiled at the slip of composure. He could jest all day, but he still slept next to Ronan at night.

\--

Other people were always in Adam’s dreams. Rarely were they in the good kind.

Adam woke up and felt like he’d gone on a rampage.

He didn’t remember why, and he didn’t know how, but it was still dark out. His heart was beating, and a long scream was in his head, and terror, _terror_ , was in his bones. He’d drunken poison, been attacked by a bear, jumped off a cliff, drowned by a boulder on his chest.

“Adam?”

Ronan’s face crumpled from the middle out, his pale face ghostly with the white light at the base of his neck. His hands were warm on Adam’s bare shoulders. They dragged him back into reality; he was fine. _He was fine_.

“What the fuck just happened?” Ronan demanded, still holding Adam.

Adam was dizzy with confusion. “I have no idea. I can’t remember.”

“You can’t remember?”

The harshness in his voice ticked something in Adam’s chest.

“Screw off.” He turned away to hide his grimace. With his legs bent towards his chest and his head in his arms, he fought against the horrid torrent in his mind.

His body fumed with embarrassment. It felt like he was glowing.

Adam only knew of a few things that hurt him like that. And with all this talk of scars…

“That was unfair.” Adam turned back to Ronan, sweaty palms on the cool blankets. Ronan was still above them. It looked like he wasn’t asleep when Adam was sleeping. Over time, Adam learned how to read little bits of Ronan. The bared teeth meant he was dejected, the low brow meant he was remorseful, and the stillness in his eyes meant he was ready to throw down whatever came next. Adam still didn’t understand the rest of it though. He continued, “I need to show you something.”

And just like that, it all fell down. From Ronan Lynch to teen boy. “Okay.” Ronan inched his fingers closer.

Then came back the silence. Adam knew what he had to do to get rid of the fear in him but he hated it. He _hated_ it.

“This,” he said and pointed to a dark line on the back of his shoulder. He couldn’t even face it.

“What is that from?” Ronan said softly. He cared so deeply that Adam sometimes forgot.

Adam reworked his head and adjusted his body against the bed’s frame. There was nothing to be afraid of. The trauma from Adam Parrish’s 18 years at home was almost all mental. Except for his broken ear and this dark, dark scar on his shoulder.

“I came back to the trailer a little too late.” Instantly, like a bulb turning on, Ronan stood straighter.

Both their jaws got harder.

“It was those same stairs, Ronan. The same fucking ones.”

It hurt, still.

They both remembered that fateful night, but only Adam knew of the dead static in his head.

“I fell-”

“He pushed you.”

“Yes.”

And it cut him like a knife through butter; it was the only time blood had been drawn from their fights.

But it wasn’t a fight, was it? It wasn’t fair.

“It’s the one thing anyone can see.” Adam rubbed his eyes shut. “The only thing that stayed.”

Ronan’s hands reached for his ears, treating them like equals as he rubbed them comfortingly.

“I hate him.”

“I know.”

“You should too.”

“I know.”

Then, “I’m sorry.”

This shut Adam up.

He didn’t get to choose a lot of things growing up. From the practical to the cruel, he had no say in what his life was. But here was this _boy_ . This _Lynch_ . This _Ronan_ . Adam, man of dust, has fallen for this _deity_ . This _god_.

The hypothermic blue in Ronan’s eyes stared at him, a stare that meant he was looking on purpose.

Ronan grabbed his neck. And kissed him.

Quiet, quiet hotness filled the air.

This scar was something he didn’t choose; but this Ronan was something he would choose over and over and over again. They will both be a part of him forever.

He kissed back.

One can make the difference.

**Author's Note:**

> i love these two. so. much. comments/kudos/bookmarks are very greatly appreciated! thank you!
> 
> @angstics tumblr main | @winsome-and-brave trc/tdt tumblr side


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